Half a year with him, felt so fast. time passes so fast its scary. omg 6 months already after harry potter. Things changed, i would say. i wouldn't say for the better, i wouldn't say for the worse, but i definitely can say much stronger? through the fights and quarrels, we find the both of us trying out best to understand each other more, and figuring our way through this. Yeah, throughout this journey of love, we might stumble and fall, but we have each other at every fall, and every break down. Things might not be perfect, but i don't expect them to be. Because after all, I'm not, and i dont expect him to be, vice versa. sometimes maybe we have to just talk things out. talk things out and get things cleared, because with assumptions and misunderstandings, things would just go terribly wrong. and who would want that?

Happy Halfayearsary Omar Raj.

I love you.

Well, just called him, totally knocked out and everything.

i swear i hate guys who goes out hunting for girls, i hate guys who has a girlfriend and still think that other girls are hot, i hate guys whose eyes wander when they still have someone who loves them so much, i hate guys who just dont appreciate that fact, i hate guys who goes for girls for their appearances, i hate guys who judge girls by their boobs, i hate guys who try their luck around with other girls.

it same applies for girls.

did you go for me just because at that point in time i seem like all that? did you go for me just because im "alright" enough for you? sometimes i feel that way. that feeling of being a reacher. and that feeling really sucks. my morals cant go any lower and im so fucking demoralized now. Did you go for me just because you cant get like anyone better so you SETTLE for me? ohmy.............fucking paranoid thoughts which seem like the only thing that makes sense.

Grown to realise.

2011 has been a tough year for me, and life just throw things at me thinking that i can handle it. But one thing that ive to admit that im starting to grow, and when someone grows, you get reminders inside your head unknowingly, you know what to do, you make decisions, somehow i guess, everyone just grown to realise.

Many things grew this year really, compared to past years. the bond between people, the willingness to forgive and forget, maturity, conscience.

Love for me, has grown, personally and of course towards people, regardless whether its friendly love or love love. I come to realise that hatred/ dislike brings nothing to each other. Its a give and take situation i guess. whats the use of hatred? when we can actually all be somehow be in peace?the reason, why i dont like hate? is because ive actually seen what it can do to people. And i dont like the idea of it i guess? its useless.

Love love? everyone have their ups and downs in relationships i guess, its just how you handle it i guess. and sometimes i guess its alright to have that mindset of thinking :"its me." because who knows? maybe it really is. and im not gonna talk about love problems here because i guess you gotta handle this kind of things yourself, not on your blog.

But i just want to add how love can really make you do so much at one time. it has really put me at a position where because of love i dont care about whats right or wrong ,but as long as the other person is happy. and im grateful for that. it just makes you feel good that because of what youre doing, and it makes someone smile at the end of the day, thats all that is enough.

Friends, wow, till now, i have a few close ones but you know there's some kind of emptiness that just clings on to everyone, showing how lonely they are, making them feel even more empty. That feeling sucks. i swear haha. and sometimes its just that problems you have with yourself that you cant explain. YES IM GOING THROUGH THIS PHASE NOW. Fad went to malaysia until sunday, just realise how nights are more quiet without that capricorn haha. and its like..i dont know who to turn to i guess. and omar's asleep as usual.

And finally myself, i've been reflecting on myself recently alooot.

Im having personal problems i guess. and maybe ill find the person to tell one day, maybe him, when the time's right.